Internet Connection with a Soul Mate?
I feel like an idiot, yet I can’t figure out where I went wrong; what mistake did I make? Trusting a stranger? Surely that’s not the mistake that’s making me feel so bad about myself.
I met a guy online, through Instagram, as it turns out. His name was Eric. A doctor, born in Germany, lives in the US — unimportant details. The point is, we got along so well. He was so sweet, so uncomplicated. We could just chat.
He sent me songs, and one of the first songs he sent me was something about getting married and I asked if he’s asking me — kind of like ‘don’t you think it’s a bit too early for that, we haven’t even met’. He laughed and said ‘I knew you were going to ask that’. I thought this was so sweet. He knew I was going to ask, like he knew what I was thinking. Okay, fine, this was my overactive romantic imagination.
I think we spent a couple of months chatting and he was making plans to come and see me — he wanted to meet!!!! OMG! He wanted to meet. I told my mum about him, saying something along the lines of how I think I’ve met my guy.
The only red flag was an ex-girlfriend who apparently did a real run on him, took him for a lot of money and he was paying it back. It’s not that he dated a bitch that worried me, it’s that I thought he sounded like he’s still hung up on that, or on her — he just sounded like he hadn’t sorted that out yet. But, I couldn’t be sure. It was possibly a deal-breaker; I know that sounds horrible, but in my experience, people need to make peace with their past before they can look to a new future. Sometimes, a third party can help, but the person needs to want to get over it. Help or not, they still have to do the heavy lifting.
Then, one day, he was going to ask something, but stopped himself, like I was too good for such a question. My mind was on us finally meeting in real life, so I didn’t pay much attention to this at the time. I should have. Very soon after that, Eric just stopped contacting me. He even deleted his Instagram account. He was gone.
The pain was one thing, the confusion, the questions, the loss was something else altogether. I couldn’t stop trying to figure out what happened. I was…